This is Nyree's draft copy.
On a
hot sunny day Ben the diver jumped into the deep blue sea to find
treasure. Ben swam through the
coral in the black water. When he
jumped into the cold water he saw an octopus with mean beady eyes lying on a
bright blue box.
He
tried to pull the octopus off the broken, sandy box but the octopus tentacles
were wrapped around tightly.
Then
Ben said “Hey whats that box? I wonder if there is any treasure in there?”
He
peaked around the box and suddenly the octopus began choking Ben and they
started to fight in the swirling, white cloudy water.
Then
Ben tied the octopus long sticky tentacles into knots and pushed him off the
broken sandy box. When Ben pushe
the octopus off the box he lifted it up and suddenly he saw golden glittering
treasure.
Ben was
excited, he was rich!
By
Nyree
Posts
What a descriptive story. I could imagine what was happening.Mrs Maude
ReplyDeletenyree your story is amazing by justus
ReplyDeletewhat a good work Nyree about the octopus.From Samoa.
ReplyDeleteWhat a good work Nyree about the octopus Nyree keep up the good work Nyree .keep up the good work my Best friend.
ReplyDeleteWow Nyree! Amazing job! :) Hope all is well in New Zealand! Miss you guys!
ReplyDeleteHey Nyree! My name is Jessie and I am reading your story all the way from Alabama in the United States. I am in college here and taking a class where we read blogs from all over the world. I must say, this is the best one I have read so far. It is quite the story! I think it is a great use of description Nyree, and you brought the Octupus to life with it's tentacles in knots! Thank you for the great story, and keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey there again! I forgot to put a link up if you would like to see My Blog. Feel free to leave a comment!
ReplyDelete