Thursday, September 6, 2012

Nyree's diver story

This is Nyree's draft copy.

On a hot sunny day Ben the diver jumped into the deep blue sea to find treasure.  Ben swam through the coral in the black water.  When he jumped into the cold water he saw an octopus with mean beady eyes lying on a bright blue box.

He tried to pull the octopus off the broken, sandy box but the octopus tentacles were wrapped around tightly.

Then Ben said “Hey whats that box? I wonder if there is any treasure in there?”

He peaked around the box and suddenly the octopus began choking Ben and they started to fight in the swirling, white cloudy water.

Then Ben tied the octopus long sticky tentacles into knots and pushed him off the broken sandy box.  When Ben pushe the octopus off the box he lifted it up and suddenly he saw golden glittering treasure.

Ben was excited, he was rich!

By Nyree


  1. What a descriptive story. I could imagine what was happening.Mrs Maude

  2. nyree your story is amazing by justus

  3. what a good work Nyree about the octopus.From Samoa.

  4. What a good work Nyree about the octopus Nyree keep up the good work Nyree .keep up the good work my Best friend.

  5. Wow Nyree! Amazing job! :) Hope all is well in New Zealand! Miss you guys!

  6. Hey Nyree! My name is Jessie and I am reading your story all the way from Alabama in the United States. I am in college here and taking a class where we read blogs from all over the world. I must say, this is the best one I have read so far. It is quite the story! I think it is a great use of description Nyree, and you brought the Octupus to life with it's tentacles in knots! Thank you for the great story, and keep up the good work!

  7. Hey there again! I forgot to put a link up if you would like to see My Blog. Feel free to leave a comment!


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