the deep sea diver jumped into the deep blue sea. He saw a very bad octopus
with very spooky black eyes and eight long tentacles sitting on a very old
treasure box.First Ben hid in the
seaweed, then he jumped out but the octopus strangled him.
a hot sunny day John the sea diver jumped into the sparkly blue water and swam
through colourful coral.
he saw an octopus singing on a dusty old treasure box.When the octopus stopped singing he got mean
and angry at John.
as John was looking at the octopus it hid behind the beautiful coral.Suddenly. It jumped out at John and John went
“Ahh!”John started to tease they
octopus so they started to fight.When
the fight was over his heart was pounding so he went back to his boat without
a hot sunny day Cody the deep sea diver dived into the twinkly blue waters.
Cody dived in he got caught by an evil octopus with its long sticky tentacles.Suddenly he saw something shining at the
bottom in the sand so he went to see what it was.It was a treasure box full of pearls, money
and shiney glasses.When he looked
carefully Cody saw an octopus wrapping his gooey tentacles around the golden
Cody slowly sneaked behind the swirling seaweed trying to make no noise.Then suddenly, he stepped on one piece of
seaweed and the octopus looked behind and saw him.Cody was very scared.
a hot sunny day Ben jumped into the deep blue sea and saw lots of colourful
fish.On the way to the bottom of the
sea he saw an octopus sitting on a golden treasure box.He had really mean eyes.So Ben sneaked behind the seaweed.Then the octopus wrapped its long tentacles
around Ben and tried to strangle him. They had a fight but Ben won and got the
treasure box.Then the octopus drifted
a sparkling twinkling starry night Mia the deep sea diver splashed into the
she saw a musical golden treasure box with a rainbow octopus kissing it because
he loved it so much. When Mia saw the treasure box she fell in love with it
Mia started to get closer and closer until the octopus noticed she was coming
towards the treasure box.The octopus
was terrified because he had found it first.The octopus had never, ever seen a human before so he cuddled Mia so
tightly that she felt like bursting like a balloon.
a cold rainy day Mr R jumped into some gentle rippling waves.The waves washed him in the bright and
colourful sea with fish swimming all around him.
he sank to the bottom he saw a huge octopus sitting on a golden treasure
box.He tried to sneak up behind the
octopus but it saw him and tried to strangle him with his eight long tentacles.
They had a fight but Mr R tied up the octopus tentacles with his hands and took
a stormy winter day Jack jumped into the cold water, shivering. He couldn’t see
anything, not even his hand.
he swam slowly through the deep blue sea until he saw a sparkling treasure box
with a singing octopus sitting on the top.The octopus peeked at Jack and swam away to his family.So Jack had the treasure box after all.
a black stormy day when the lightening was flashing through the sky Mr G felt
scared as he jumped into the cold black sea.
the cold black sea he could see a mean octopus with two black beady eyes and
eight long tentacles sitting on a sparkling new treasure box.Then the mean octopus began strangling Mr G.
But… Finally Mr G got away from the long tentacles and got then sparkling
stormy day, Tom the deep sea diver, jumped off the ship into the freezing cold
water.In the water there was a golden
was so excited that he couldn’t even say a word until… he saw an octopus with 8
long sticky, gooey tentacles and beady eyes.Tom really wanted the treasure box until the octopus wrapped its gooey
tentacles around his throat.Tom was
trying to pull the tentacles off.He
used all his strength because he wanted it so much.Suddenly, Tom got choked by the tentacles as
it chased him around the grooving seaweed.
after chasing Tom the octopus was tired and started to cry.So, Tom quickly grabbed the golden treasure
box and climbed back onto his boat.
Class 16 have been learning how to make paragraphs with 3 ideas about one thing. They have also been learning how to recraft their writing for meaning, adding juicy detail and punctuation. They had a little help with some gifted words. Can you spot what they are?