Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Mitchell's diver story

Mitchell has used lots of descriptive words to paint a really interesting picture in your minds eye.  If you like Mitchell's story please leave him a comment.



Ben swam through the long stretchy, wiggling, swirling seaweed and sneaked behind the colourful coral. He peaked through the coral and saw an octopus sitting on an old dusty treasure box stuck in the wavy sand.

Ben approached the octopus and he tried to pull the octopus sticky gooey tentacles off but the octopus wrapped his tentacles tightly over the old dusty treasure box. Ben pulled the sticky tentacles off and they started to have a fight.

The big octopus tried to strangle Ben but he fight the octopus back.

Ben tied and wrapped the octopus’s tentacles into a really tight knot. He pushed the mean octopus away and it floated away into the deep sea. 

When the octopus was gone Ben swam to the dusty-old treasure box and opened it.  He saw shiny bright gold and jewellry.

By Mitchell

3 comments:

  1. Mitchell,
    I am in Dr. Strange's EDM310 Class at the University of South Alabama. I loved your story! I love how you wrote the sentence, "Ben approached the octopus and he tried to pull the octopus sticky gooey tentacles off but the octopus wrapped his tentacles tightly over the old dusty treasure box." It was very descriptive and entertaining.
    Keep up the great work!

    Lyndsie VanHorn

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  2. Wow Mitchell! As I sat hear reading your story, I got the most amazing picture in my head! You are such a fantastic writer! I am so very proud of you and you should be proud of yourself! Miss you!
    Love, your American teacher friend, Miss Jobak :)

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  3. Mitchell,

    I am also in Dr. Strange's EDM310 Class at the University of South Alabama. I think your story is very cool and that you have a real talent. To be in just the first grade you are a very talented writer! Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading some more of your stories and other blog posts! Keep it up!



    Will Smith

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